No one likes a bandwagon jumper, but with the NFL playoffs underway, this unfortunate group of individuals is growing. The trend culminates on Super Bowl Sunday when everyone and their grandmothers latch onto one of the remaining survivors and becomes a die hard fan for the day. This upsets those of us who put in blood, sweat, and tears every Sunday from September to January. Bandwagon jumpers take away some of the glory we deserve to enjoy by claiming it for themselves.

This phenomenon has perturbed me all my life. Some jumpers are widows of teams who have already been eliminated from playoff contention, while others are just catching on to the sport. Should these people be forbidden from choosing a side? No. But they can’t choose just any team. Here are my guidelines for choosing a bandwagon to jump onto, as well as some recommendations on who to choose in this year’s NFL playoffs:

1) The team can’t be too good. The team can’t have won a Super Bowl in the last 10 years. The most insufferable fans are those who gravitate towards the winners. I’ve been accused of this as a Red Sox and Patriots fan who doesn’t hail from Boston, but my fandom stems from roots that don’t include the fact that these teams have become two of the more successful in their respective leagues. It’s more fun to see teams from outside the usual order come in and crash the party. Don’t join the crowd on a successful team’s bandwagon; let their fans enjoy their success while it lasts. Eliminated: New Orleans, New England, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh. (Baltimore’s in their 10th year, but no one really remembers the Trent Dilfer days, so they get a pass).

2) The team should have a chance to win. It’s admirable to cheer for the underdog, and many of us will inevitably find ourselves doing so, this tactic sets you up for failure. Similar to how everyone hates success leeches, no one likes a nomad. You can’t hop from team to team as your underdog picks continue to lose until finally you land on one who wins. You didn’t pick that team, you stumbled onto it. Pick a team and stick with it. This year we get a new scenario, which will hopefully be rectified by the NFL: you may not, under any circumstance, cheer for a team with a losing record that backed into the playoffs. They do not deserve the spotlight or your support. If you’re a real fan of a mammoth underdog, good luck. If you aren’t, stay away. Eliminated: Seattle, Kansas City.

3) Everyone likes a story. Stories are fun, and in the 24/7 sports media environment, you can be sure that every single storyline has been uncovered by the time the players hit the field. Bandwagon fans should seek out positive stories, like star players overcoming adversity (Michael Vick), but should also stay away from negative stories like players who have spent time in jail (Michael Vick), and teams overhyped by television specials (the Jets). The Rex Ryan hoopla is a negative story, while I’ll leave judgment of Vick and the Eagles up to you. Go for the storybook ending; no one likes it when the bad guys win. Eliminated: New York Jets, Philadelphia (if you can’t forgive past sins. If you can, the Eagles are fine).

We now have three simple rules with a couple of judgment calls. If you follow them you will find yourself left with a choice between the Baltimore Ravens, Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Atlanta Falcons, and Philadelphia Eagles. From here it all comes down to personal preference. It’s perfectly acceptable to choose one of these teams because you like their jerseys or a certain player, just don’t look at the scoreboard and go by who’s winning. This decision requires some thought.

Choosing a team is an important undertaking, but if you want to blend in when watching the playoffs with your friends, it’s best not to upset anyone. Don’t cheer against your friends’ teams out of spite. Follow the rules and you’ll be fine. I can make exceptions if you happen to come from a city or if your family has cheered for a particular team for eternity, but if you don’t fall into these categories, jump on the proper bandwagon. Let the real fans enjoy their teams’ success and cheer responsibly.