Transitioning from living in our family’s home to sharing a space with peers is already a dramatic shift and challenge to navigate. On top of this, we tend to choose the people who we most get along with or enjoy the presence of—our friends. While the idea of living with your best friends can be exciting at first, it doesn’t take long for the honeymoon phase to fizzle out as you discover each other’s quirks, habits, and, inevitably, flaws.
With this in mind, we wanted to explore how McGill students navigate living with their friends long-term, and the real question—if they recommend it. Exchange student Manuela Almenara talked about her experience living with four other girls who also happen to be her friends from back home in Madrid, who decided to do an exchange program at McGill together.
“We’re all friends, so we’re less nitpicky with things and more at ease with each other—we all know each other very well. We’re doing the exchange program together, we’re in it together and are able to work things out,” Almenara said.
Almenara emphasized that living with friends is beneficial for her because their shared history allows them to better adapt to each other’s preferences and resolve issues more smoothly.
Ollie Scott-Hansen, U1 Arts, also talked about the positive side of living with your friends.
“I feel like it helps with problem-solving a lot more as we know each other well and know that nothing is really ever that deep,” Scott-Hansen told The Tribune.
Despite Scott-Hansen and Almenara’s positive experiences, other students had rockier times living with their close friends. Shumyle Shahid, U1 Arts, emphasized how problems actually arose more easily because she chose friends for roommates:
“I feel that it contributed to more conflict as small issues can have overly emotional resonance,” she said. “I would advise myself to trust my gut and look at long-term practicality rather than short-term fun. I would also advise myself to never live with best friends.”
Looking back, Shahid highlighted the discomfort that can arise when bringing up issues, such as messes or noise, with roommates who are also your friends. It adds a layer of complexity, as emotions and the health of the friendship must be considered when addressing roommate-specific issues.
Almenara emphasized that, in situations like this, it’s key to maintain solid boundaries and clear expectations—even with the best of friends.
“We’re friends, but at the end of the day, we’re also roommates, and it’s important to keep that line clear and respect certain things,” Almenara said.
She also mentioned how she learned patience, noting that it’s an important skill to develop when living with roommates, regardless of whether they’re good friends.
Ammie Dae, U1 Arts, who chose unknown roommates, shared her perspective on navigating this unique living arrangement. She learned to emphasize clear communication, given how unfamiliar she was with her roommates. Although she noted that this was a skill that takes practice, she still has room for improvement.
“Honestly, to be more firm about communicating my dissatisfactions, I may not always have another roommate willing to deal with it on my behalf,” Almenara said.
Dae also noted that shared rules promote respect and prevent one roommate from bearing the responsibility of addressing issues alone.
Many of the issues we worry about or hesitate to bring up with our roommates often aren’t as daunting as they seem. As suggested by Scott-Hansen, effective communication can go a long way in improving everyone’s experience and well-being in the house.
“Always trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, do something about it, don’t ignore it. If something bothers you, do something. It doesn’t take much to solve small problems that seem big,” Scott-Hansen added.
