In case you were too busy getting mentally prepared for the debauch  of the year, here’s what you missed this past week in the world of sports … 

FOOTBALL — The football world was shaken twice over the last week as two major stories dominated NFL headlines. First, the New Orleans Saints’ bounty program organized by then-defensive coordinator Gregg Williams between 2009 and 2011 was brought to light. The investigation revealed that players would receive a bonus of $1,000 for a hit that led to a “cart-off” and $1,500 for a knock-out hit, with payouts doubling or tripling during the playoffs. Though NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has yet to sanction the team, the punishment is expected to be extremely harsh. 

Secondly, Indianapolis Colts superstar quarterback Peyton Manning was released from his contract on March 7, making him the greatest and most sought-after free agent in NFL history. Let #peytonpallooza begin!

HOCKEY — To the surprise of many, the Leafs dominated recent hockey headlines when GM Brian Burke decided to fire Head Coach Ron Wilson and hire ex-Ducks Head Coach Randy Carlyle. Considering that many saw Burke and Wilson as BFFs, Burke announced that what was happening to the team under Wilson “was akin to 18-wheeler going right off a cliff.” Apart from seeing the Leafs crash and burn, Habs fans were ecstatic for the return of star defenceman Andrei Markov on Saturday against the Canucks. Playing only 17 minutes, Markov already picked up one assist en route to a huge 4-1 win for the Habs. Now is about time to cue the “the Habs are absolutely making the playoffs this season” talks in Montreal.

SOCCER — With the Champions League tournament in full swing, many experts expect defending champion Barcelona to remain the favourite to win it all. That status was only confirmed when Barcelona’s star player, and current best player in the world, Lionel Messi went ahead and scored five goals against Bayer Leverkusen. Despite the fact that he’s only 24 years old, he already has 228 career goals for Barca (seven away from tying Cesar Rodriguez for the club’s career scoring record). Messi had never scored five goals in a Champions League game. And guess what? No one else in history ever has either, making the feat yet another reason to put Messi’s name in the history books. So how good is Messi actually? “Messi[‘s talent] is a joke. For me the best ever,” Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney wrote on Twitter. So there you have it.