The Tribune

Since taking over the Department of English Students’ Association this semester, the Cultural Studies Students’ Association is reaching out to English students by offering new courses, vegan bake sales, used American Apparel clothing swaps, and Mile End bike tours.

McGill University’s Chief Medical Examiner Dr. John Bringham diagnosed three Tribune news editors and four McGill Daily editors with acute cases of Stockholm Syndrome on Monday. The Students’ Society’s biweekly Legislative Council meeting, he determined, was the chief cause.

Let me make things perfectly clear: I am a virgin. Never been kissed, disrobed, or had my hand held. Now let me make something even clearer: I’m not a virgin because no one wants to have sex with me, but because I’m incredibly good-looking – think an 11 on a scale of 10 – and I can get anyone I want.

Owners of the TomTom GPS navigation system can now choose to “roll down the street, sippin’ on gin and juice” with rap superstar Snoop Dogg (who does not, in any way, advocate drinking and driving) as their guide. The voiceskin is available for purchase from TomTom for $12.