The Tribune

U1 biology student Lincoln Duncan is currently on track to fail four out of his five courses during the 2010 winter semester, meaning he will only earn three credits this semester instead of the expected 15. In an unexpected announcement, Duncan has blamed the economy for his poor performance.

Name: Dan Savage Column Name: “Savage Love” Publication: Montreal’s Hour magazine, Toronto’s Now magazine, Ottawa’s XPress and numerous other publications across Canada and the United States . Known for: Hosting a campaign to name a gay sexual act after an American senator that held homophobic beliefs.

Dick Cheney was arrested yesterday afternoon for shoplifting at Walgreen’s in the Georgetown neighborhood of Washington, D.C. Police stated that Cheney thought he could now get over-the-counter medication for free. Cheney allegedly had eaten too much pizza on Saturday night, and was experiencing some mild heartburn when he decided to go to the local pharmacy.

The McGill administration has announced that McGrills – grills shaped like the word McGill – will be available at the McGill Bookstore, effective immediately. In an interview with the Tribune, Vice-Principle (University Services) Jim Nicell was excited by the grills, which he hopes will boost student pride.