If you know me, you are aware that I suffer from a serious problem—one that strains friendships, disrupts schedules, and even alters the very fabric of reality. I am too often caught with indented lines strewn across my cheek like battle scars, my hair a knotted mess, and drool crusted[Read More…]
Off the Board
Serious reflections
The worst insult I ever received was at a parent-teacher conference. My third-grade teacher joked that I was “very serious” about school. I would have preferred it if she failed me. Taking something seriously was, to me, horrifying. It was an insurmountably embarrassing hallmark of someone uncool, someone self-important who[Read More…]
It’s time for the United States to finally get its 51st state
For many of my Canadian peers, the phrase “51st state” earns an eye-roll, no doubt in response to U.S. President Trump’s ceaseless political and economic antagonism. Yet, growing up in Washington, DC, “51st state” was a rallying cry, a call for the enfranchisement of the city’s over 700,000 residents who[Read More…]
The final edit
As you rifle through The Tribune’s final issue, I implore you to consider a heavy, urgent, and tender word: Responsibility. For the past academic year, student revolutionaries took on the responsibility to spearhead movements for Indigenous sovereignty and Palestinian liberation, fought against increasing conservatism and fascism across North America, and[Read More…]
The accent they mock, the voice I carry
Some of my earliest memories are of the way my mother sang me to sleep—soft vowels, careful consonants, and an accent I never thought twice about. Yet, I’ve sat in rooms where that accent—the one that raised me—was mocked. In my high school, classmates exaggerated syllables they didn’t understand. On[Read More…]
Solo side quests are self-care
In my first year of university, I saw crowds of first-years playing games, eating snacks, and sporting matching Frosh t-shirts, aware that I didn’t have one. Over dinner, a friend said, “I’m worried you’ll be lonely this weekend.” “No,” I responded with a smile. While I appreciated the care and[Read More…]
A love letter to crappy Chinese food
I love crappy Chinese food. Don’t get me wrong, I love all types of Chinese food and would happily eat only rice for the rest of my days. But I love greasy, crappy mall Chinese food served in a plastic container with three divided sections: One for Canto-style chow mein[Read More…]
My thoughts on femininity as a so-called 900-pound grizzly bear
For years, boys at school called me “Boog.” When I asked what they meant, they said that it was a character from the movie Open Season: “A nine hundred-pound bear,” they would say. So, naturally, I thought I was fat. I developed an intense anxiety about eating in front of[Read More…]
A struggle meal, among friends
I looked on, half horrified, half intrigued, as she set the timer for 10 minutes. Trying to hide my disgust, I attempted to confirm that this wasn’t some kind of strange mistake, a careless slip of the finger on the time selection wheel: “Did you mean to select 10 minutes,[Read More…]
McGill’s “gatekeeper courses” are against the spirit of education
The first time I expressed my desire to attend McGill, my enthusiasm was met with a warning: “You might get in, but it’s difficult to stay in.” They meant that although the university does not have the traditionally single-digit acceptance rates of American Ivy Leagues, the difficulty and low averages[Read More…]
