The Tribune

A few years past, one’s command of the French language had to be fairly deft to survive in Quebec for very long. McGill students, for the first weeks after arriving in Montreal, would need to assiduously commit dozens of key phrases to memory in order to obtain everyday household items, from milk to light bulbs.

I have a dirty little secret: I’ve never been to a frosh event. I’ve also never attended a McGill sports game, joined a club or even been inside a university rez. No, I’m not a hermit, or even anti-social. I’m a Montrealer. One of those cool but elusive people you meet in one of your classes then never seem to encounter again.

For stick-thin health conscious fellows, poutine is venom on a plate. However, to every other “normal” person in Canada, it is simply a mountain of fries topped with cheese curds and gravy. Poutine may be a Quebec delicacy and extremely delicious, but unfortunately, the fries-cheese-gravy aspect of poutine makes it an artery-clogging snack.

The big fashion trend this fall is not the skinny jean, nor is it the sweater-dress, peek-toe pumps or military coats. The hot accessory for autumn, as I was informed this past weekend, is the engagement ring. Ah, engagement rings. The world’s smallest set of handcuffs, some might say.

Though it has only been a Western commodity for the past few centuries, tea has one of the longest and most illustrious histories of any beverage. Legend cites its discovery by Emperor Shennong of China around 2700 BCE, though early written record of the drink only stretches back to 300 CE or so.

Going to University is a chance to re-invent yourself; you can finally shake off the stigmas of adolescent awkwardness and become the beautiful swan you were always meant to be. While many students adopt a new identity because they have experienced a great maturation between graduation day and the beginning of frosh, this metamorphosis is more frequently facilitated by the fact that they are now miles away from the people who knew them during their brace-faced “my little ponies” phase.

Canadian comedian Russell Peters performed last week at Place des Arts and caught up with the Tribune to discuss college, cheating, and being Canadian. You’re very popular with college students. What’s your favourite college experience? I never went to college.

Research: Research papers are, after all, founded on research, and research implies sources. A good rule of thumb is one book for every two pages and two journal articles for every three. So for a 10-page paper, you would want at least five books and seven articles, plus as many primary sources as you can get your hands on.

Every path in life has a shortcut, a simple approach and an easy way out. It is common knowledge that the masses cheat in school, work and even dieting. Although we hate to admit it, almost every one of us has, at one point in our lives, found ourselves cheating at something or, even worse, on someone.