This is for all the U1 students out there who are finally discovering the joys of having their own apartments. Although you might miss the glory days of Rez, you will soon realize the far superior nature of living off campus.

One of the hardest things to adjust to is cooking your own food. As much fun as it is to finally be able to pick your own menu, a lot of people find cooking to be a pain in the… Rump Roast. For those among us that really give ‘er and throw meals together, I salute you. For the other 97 per cent of the universe, there is an easier way. For the lazy vegetarian in all of us, the solution lies on St. Laurent in the form of three “cachuteries” and a meat-stitution.

If luncheon meats, decent cheeses, snotty condiments and bulk pâté are your cravings of the day, you have to head to La Vieille Europe (3855 St. Laurent). Just up St-Laurent, near Duluth, this place is food snob heaven. As an added bonus for chocolate snobs, not only does this shop have a more-than-decent selection of cocoa products, but it is also one of the very few places in Montreal where you can buy Callebault chocolate, hailed as the best Canadian-produced chocolate in the world.

If price is really an issue, walk south to the Boucherie Charcuterie Slovenia (3653 St. Laurent) just across from the candy store on St. Laurent, between Pins and Prince-Arthur. The nice Eastern-European woman at the front will stand ready, and all you have to say is “spicy salami, spicy mustard” to find yourself in more temporary ecstasy than any narcotic could produce. They also have some of the harder-to-find Quebec cheeses and an excellent butcher section, if you ever have enough time to cook your own stuff.

Finally, to find meat there is really only one place: Schwartz’s (3895 St. Laurent), the one and only, accept no substitutes. Cott’s Cherry Cola is required, and for god’s sake, if it’s your first time, order lean.