Joke

U3 Engineering student posts Facebook status about distrust in new SSMU executive, citing ‘predominantly female executive’

U3 Engineering student Jack Martin recently posted a status on Facebook expressing his distrust in the newly elected Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) executive team for the 2017-18 school year. 

“I don’t usually post things like this on Facebook, but recent events have alarmed me to a place that I feel like I need to comment,” Martin’s status read. “I’m disappointed in the student body for its choice to elect an executive that is not truly representative of the student body. McGill’s campus is so truly diverse—how will an executive that consists almost solely of one gender address the needs of myself and fellow brethren next year?” 

Martin’s status raised questions among his friends and followers about his views on gender equality. One friend quickly responded to this in the comments section, alleging that his claims were misogynistic and distrusting of female leadership. Martin quickly responded to this, citing his views on gender equality.

“Look, I’m all for female equality, and I even consider myself pretty liberal—but ultimately this campus is only 51 per cent female,” Martin wrote in the comment thread. “A SSMU executive that doesn’t represent the true demographic makeup of this campus is really not OK. Call me a snowflake, but I don’t feel like I can trust the new SSMU. Where do I fit into this? This doesn’t feel like a safe space for me. Men’s issues matter too.” 

Martin went further in the comment thread to refer to himself as a feminist at a later point, citing his love for women, especially for his mother and sister. 

“I don’t know why what I’m saying is so bad, guys,” Martin wrote. “I’m a feminist. Hands down. I have a mother and a sister. I’ve loved every woman I’ve ever dated—though some of them may have been crazy. I still think that feminism is gender equality. EQUALITY. That means equal men, equal women. Not an all-female SSMU. When will people understand this?” 

Though six of the seven 2016-17 SSMU executives were male, this seemed not to be a factor in Martin’s line of thinking. According to his roommate, Emily Sanders, with whom he shares a modest apartment on Avenue Lorne, Martin did not know about this, and seemed unmoved after hearing about it.

“[Martin] has been complaining about this all-female SSMU executive thing for literal days now,” Sanders said. “When is he going to learn to shut the fuck right up? I asked him how he felt about this year’s [mostly] male SSMU and he said he didn’t know about that, but that he didn’t think that was a relevant fact to consider. Now, I myself am not sure where I stand on this whole ‘gender’ thing, but he’s just annoying as shit and I think he needs to move the fuck on.” 

When approached for comment after the fact, Martin declined, citing a lack of time due to his rigorous engineering program. Though his status received significant backlash in the comments section, he remained unbent when navigating through the comments, taking the time to respond to each one. Boasting four likes and one “Wow” reaction, Martin left his status up publicly even after the commenting died down.

This article is a work of satire and is part of the Joke Issue.

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