After leaving high school sports behind and starting my post-secondary studies, school became a central part of my life. I quickly internalized that grades defined my worth and success. Good grades would lead to a good life—or so I thought—driving me to put relentless pressure on myself to excel. Anytime I scored lower than I had expected, I would spiral, assuming everyone else held the same perfectionist standards.
A few weeks ago, I found myself in a full-on cram session for a midterm, sacrificing sleep and sanity in pursuit of the perfect grade. Following the exam I came home disappointed, telling myself I could have done more or studied differently. I calculated how much I would need to score next time to hit my goal as if that could somehow remedy my stress and frustration. While panicking frantically in my room, my 14-year-old sister walked in and said, “You’re always stressed. Why don’t you just live life?”
Her statement annoyed me at first, but afterwards, it struck me. As the idiom goes, the truth came “out of the mouths of babes.” Her words made me rethink my relentless chase for academic perfection. Am I truly living my life, or spending it in constant obsession over grades?
Our exchange led me to confront the toxic side of academic perfectionism, which compels us to overlook the big picture of academic experience. Measuring success solely by grades makes us lose sight of education’s true value. Rather than seeing school as a place to grow and learn, we treat it as a never-ending race to flawless results. It narrows our focus to only the negatives, ignoring that mistakes are normal and setbacks are part of life and growth. As stated by the singer Gerard Way, “Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” For a long time, I fixated on these imperfections, only deepening my unhappiness. However, my sister forced me to recognize that doing my best is sufficient—what matters is the effort we put in, not the grade we receive.
This new mindset made me question whether I’d ever truly valued my mental health. While I consistently encouraged my peers to embrace their efforts and offered support during setbacks, I realized I wasn’t extending the same compassion to myself. Cramming for exams was necessary, I told myself—but the constant comparisons and GPA fixation weren’t. Worrying endlessly about each exam or paper drained me, blocking out any appreciation for the university experience beyond school. It didn’t take long for me to recognize that this type of perfectionism has real consequences. The pressure wasn’t just limited to my school life; it was pervasive.
If left unchecked, perfectionism can lead to increased levels of stress, worry, anxiety, and even depression. When I learned this, I knew I had to prioritize my mental health and remind myself that my value does not hinge on impossible standards. The university experience is about discovering oneself, making mistakes, meeting new people, joining clubs, and ultimately stepping outside of one’s comfort zone. Is sidelining all of that just to meet grade standards truly living?
While I still struggle with letting go of high expectations, I no longer equate grades with success or self-worth. Academics are important, but balancing them with life is crucial. Grades are not worth harming your mental health, and if you’re struggling to find balance, McGill offers plenty of resources to support you.
My sister’s timely reminder prompted me to reflect on my journey at McGill, and I realized that life is too short to strive for perfectionism and obsess over letters on a transcript. That night I felt lighter, understanding that I may not hit every mark I want, but life has so much more to offer than that. Instead of being perpetually stressed, I would rather, as my little sister says, embrace life.
