Latest News

a, Arts & Entertainment, Film and TV

Peer Review: Mountain of Servants

by Michael Kalman on

More in a:

Sometimes, amazing things can be the product of pure chance and timing. This is exactly the case with Daniel Lombroso’s documentary, Mountain of Servants, which documents the Syriacs, a dwindling minority in Eastern Turkey. Lombroso is a U3 Political Science major here at McGill University who grew up in Westchester County, New York. 

“In high school, I sold brownies to buy my first shitty little camera,” recounted Lombroso, as he explained how he began filming in his early teens. “I loved filmmaking. I just never knew how it would transfer into a job, so I kept doing it on the side when I came to McGill.” 

During his first semester at McGill, Lombroso decided to try and direct a more professional film than those of his high school shorts. 

“In December of my first year at New Rez, I was like, I’m going to make my first real movie, so I put out an ad on Craigslist looking for middle-aged balding men to be in it,” he remarked between laughs. 

Unfortunately, the film didn’t pan out as well as he had hoped, and that experience opened his eyes. 

“That’s when I first started understanding what makes a good movie,” Lombroso added. 

He took a short break afterwards to focus on his major, but wanted to film again when the opportunity arose.

That very opportunity presented itself while Daniel was on exchange in Istanbul, Turkey. During his stay, he became enthralled with the nationwide municipal elections occurring at the time and started a blog called Voices of Istanbul. 

“It was like Humans of New York with a picture of a person with [his or her] comments,” he explained. “I never could have predicted it, but my blog blew up and people were emailing me to be featured. I had about 60 people featured on my blog.” 

Mountain of Servants (Excerpt) from Daniel Lombroso on Vimeo.

Among those people was a man named Mehmed Aziz Yirik, who requested a time to have tea and sit down to discuss a possible creative collaboration. Yirik wanted to visit his family in eastern Turkey and suggested a documentary on the ancient civilization native to the area. 

“We knew we needed to raise $3,000 to make this [project] work,” said Lombroso. “Mehmed’s father was the barber of the town and seemed to know everyone. His father’s friends didn’t speak any English, but we pitched our idea anyways.” 

Like many aspects of this project, the interviews were not simple to arrange. 

“Everything was a slow, tedious process,” Lombroso commented. “No one communicated through email. It was first, come over and meet my family and have tea and coffee and then tell me why you’re worth my time, and we’ll see from there.” 

Post-production was not an easy task either. 

“I came out with 15 hours of footage in a language I didn’t even understand,” explained Lombroso. 

With the help of local Montreal editors and commentary by John Cavanagh from the BBC, Mountain of Servants was completed this January. It has already been accepted to four film festivals and took home the “Best of Fest” award at Student Television at McGill’s FOKUS Film Festival this past weekend. 

He describes the 14-minute documentary as a transparent gateway into the lives of Syriacs of Tur Abdin, instead of a historian’s point of view, and hopes that the film will spur outside interest in this incredible civilization. 

“I didn’t want it to be a documentary of interviews with professors,” Lombroso said. “I wanted to interview the actual people on the ground.”

If you’d like to learn more about this project, email Daniel Lombroso at [email protected].

a, Arts & Entertainment, Music

Deep Cuts: Dark Undertones

by Jonathan Herlin on

More in a:

Chainsaw 

Artist: Ramones

Album: Ramones

Released: February 4, 1976

This song begins with a chainsaw. Jonny Ramone’s heavily distorted, relentless guitar keeps up that chainsaw sound throughout—power chords, power chords, and more power chords—and Joey Ramone’s doo-wop, ooooh-oh-oh vocals don’t even try to disguise the fact that the song is about a gruesome chainsaw murder, which is kind of punk: “Texas Chainsaw massacre/ They took my baby away from me.” What’s even more punk, however, is the next line: “They chopped her up and I don’t care, woah-oh.” 

 

Carmelita

Artist: Linda Ronstadt

Album: Simple Dreams

Released:  September, 1977

Originally written and performed by Warren Zevon, “Carmelita” has led to numerous covers, but Linda Ronstadt’s is the prettiest. The guitar is reminiscent of mariachi and Ronstadt’s vocals are dreamy and unfocused. It makes for a stark contrast to the lyrics, which follow a desperate junkie as he appeals to his lover (Carmelita) to pull him out of the abyss of heroin withdrawal: “Carmelita, hold me tighter/ I think I’m sinking down/ and I’m all strung out on heroin/ on the outskirts of town.” 

 

Right Profile

Artist: The Clash

Album: London Calling

Released: December 14, 1979

London Calling is such a masterpiece that this track is easy to overlook. Behind the elaborate horns and reggae/ska/whatever-influenced guitar are some seriously dark lyrics. I don’t really know what they discuss, but its probably something to do with alcoholism and/or drug addiction: “Nembutal numbs it all/ but I prefer alcohol.” Ultimately though, Strummer’s vocals just degrade into “aarpghargahshhhsh.” 

 

Salad Days

Artist: Mac Demarco

Album: Salad Days

Released: April 1, 2014

The titular track of Mac Demarco’s second album is, in fact, an allusion to Shakespeare: the expression refers to youthful idealism and indiscretion. Demarco, however, the typical slacker that he is, looks back on those days not with regret but with nostalgia. Now he’s just getting old and has to do grown up stuff: “As I’m getting older/ chip up on my shoulder/ rolling through life/ roll over and die.” The guitar is so pleasant, and as a result, so artificial, that it could be from an early Beach Boys record. This dissonance, exploring lyrical authenticity against instrumental artifice, is what Demarco wants to convey. 

a, News

Burnside basement renovation turns to crowdfunding initiative

by Mayaz Alam on

More in a:

Students from the Faculties of Science and Arts & Science have launched a crowdfunding campaign to renovate the Burnside Basement. The initiative is hosted on McGill’s Seeds of Change fundraising platform, which was launched in May 2014. 

“[The project aims to] help a group of entrepreneurial students […] transform their dark and dreary Burnside Basement into a welcoming all-access space for students to study, relax, exchange ideas, and obtain essential resources,” the project website reads.

The renovations, which are slated to primarily occur during the summer months, do not have a fixed timeline for completion. According to Jeremy Goh, U2 Science and a member of the project team, both short-term and long-term changes are planned for the space [and] aim to improve student usability and sustainability of the building.

“Ideally, we’d like to replace the furniture, create a group study area with surfaces for collaborating, and improve the lighting of the space,” Goh said. “For later phases, we want to explore how feasible it would be to section off the space to reduce noise pollution.”

Eric Mitchell, U2 Science and Vice-President External of the Neuroscience Undergraduates of McGill (NUM), a group that has an office in the Burnside basement, said that the project is a positive step towards improving the space, which is currently the primary student space for students in the Faculties of Science and Arts & Science. 

“I don’t think the basement adequately meets the needs of science students currently,” Mitchell said. “In its role as a main hub for us, it needs to be improved. Currently the space lacks proper studying infrastructure–desks, chairs, and couches are either in poor condition or insufficient in quantity.”

This is not the only student-initiated effort to improve spaces primarily used by students. Earlier this year, the Management Undergraduate Society (MUS) passed a referendum question that instituted a $40 per semester per student non-opt-outable space improvement fee for the Bronfman Building. The Science Undergraduate Society (SUS) also introduced the Student Space Improvement Fee (SCSS) earlier this year following a referendum. Funds from the SCSS fee will also help with renovations of Burnside Hall. 

According to Goh, funding the renovations through Seeds of Change was suggested by the Faculty of Science administration as a way to draw alumni support for renovations.

“The crowdfunding project allows the funds to be raised to be used almost immediately after the campaign ends, [letting] us start the renovations during the summer,” Goh explained. “Additionally, only a portion of the [SCSS] fee is eligible to go towards initiatives like [the] Burnside basement and the budget must be passed through [the SUS] General Council. This means that the funds from the [SCSS] fee would not be put towards Burnside until October of Fall 2015.”

Goh also expressed that the $6,000 target for the project was set based on previous campaigns and strategies, and that a budget for the predicted renovations is yet to be determined.

“The budget for the renovations will happen once we receive quotes from McGill Facilities and the designer,” Goh said. “Since the project must be completed through […] McGill, prices are higher than hiring an [external] contractor. Everything we want to do in terms of construction has to go through McGill, but purchases for furniture can be through external sources. However, if we get a whiteboard, for example, it will need to be installed by a union worker from McGill, for which we will be charged.”

Rafael Páez Estrada, a recent graduate from the Faculty of Science from the class of 2014, sees the renovations as necessary to help current students create a better sense of identity. 

“I think that the initiative is extremely important from a practical point of view, but also from an identity point of view,” he said. “It’s important to have our space be something we are proud of, and a place where we can feel comfortable.”

Páez Estrada also underscored the importance of parental and alumni support. 

“Donating and encouraging parents to do so is crucial because it will also add a sense of belonging to the place,” Estrada said. “I intend to donate as soon as the summer starts and I start working and making money.”

Mitchell stated that he was appreciative of students’ efforts given the lack of tangible support from the administration to improve existing infrastructure.

“In an ideal world, this project wouldn’t have to happen,” Mitchell said. “I know that SUS has taken part in negotiations with McGill [in the past] and there hasn’t been much progress with regards to the university’s support for science student spaces.”  

a, Student Life, The Viewpoint

The Viewpoint: More than just a cup of coffee

by Harrison Glotman on

More in a:

Don’t let the Van Houtte corporate name fool you. With the numerous Van Houtte cafés located around Montreal, it may be easy to mistake the small franchise tucked below La Cité as just part of the larger corporation. However, like a piece of art, this café radiates with the personality of its owners. When I first stopped by, I was intrigued by the owners’ positivity and general disposition. In interacting with customers and with each other, they seemed to possess a certain glow. Through my regular morning visits, I quickly learned that the source of that glow was their deep passion and pride.    

The story behind the café is a fascinating one. All three owners abandoned their professional careers and stable salaries to run it. It all began when Sacha Hajjar, who needed to pay for his degree at Concordia and picked up a few shifts at the Van Houtte café near campus. His passion for coffee began at the age of 16, but his father told him that he needed an academic education. Sacha started with two engineering jobs after graduation before realizing that he was not well suited for the corporate life. He bought the café in 1998 at the age of 23, and has not looked back since. Rosie Hajjar and Carla Hajjar, an accountant and lawyer, did the same shortly after.

At first, it was difficult for me to grasp why they gave up such stable careers for the café. However, their happy demeanour, constant enjoyment, and sincere interactions with customers helped me realize that my original idea of success was incomplete. During my years in school, success was defined based simply on a letter grade. After graduation, the definition of success is hazy and unclear. I found that without conventional metrics to indicate if I was doing a good job, setting goals around my own definition of success became increasingly important. 

For Rosie, Sacha, and Carla, success is about being proud and deeply invested in what they do. Like characters in a novel, they complement each other perfectly. Rosie is a nurturer at heart, always offering a big smile and kind words, while her husband Sacha is outspoken and frank. The nurturing words from Rosie mixed with the witty, free-spirited anecdotes from Sacha offer the perfect morning refreshment. Together, they are constantly seeking to improve the experience, because they recognize that the simple things in life—like a warm greeting and muffin—are enough to make a difference in each day.  

Through my encounters with the trio, I realized that it is difficult and frightening to follow a passion. When Sacha bought the café, it was running a deficit and many doubted his ability to turn it around.  However, my visits made me realize that things tend to work out if passion is incorporated into an action. Although hard work separates the best from the average, passion precludes hard work. While the trio at the café gave up so much and appear to work so hard with long hours at the small café, they are hardly working at all because it is something they love.  

Cafés and small businesses like this one—where the passion and personality of the owners are omnipresent—remind me how important it is to do what you love. While students, including myself, are raised in an environment where prestigious grades and honour rolls are motivation enough to do well, I learned from my interactions at that small Van Houtte café that after graduation, passion is a much more powerful force than prestige in becoming the best at what you do.   

a, Recipes, Student Life

Making the Simple Exquisite: Tips to making eggs

by Alycia Noë on

More in a:

While eggs are delicious and cheap, many do not know how to cook them properly. All too often, eggs are overcooked and rubbery. Learning how to make scrambled, boiled, and poached eggs can greatly diversify your diet or improve your homemade eggs benedict.

 

Scrambled Eggs

 

Ingredients

·      3 large eggs

·      6 tbsp milk

·      1 knob of butter

 

Instructions

1)    Whisk eggs together with milk and any desired seasonings (eg. salt, pepper, oregano). Make sure eggs are well combined and the consistency of the eggs is uniform.

2)    Heat a frying pan (preferably non-stick) for one minute over medium heat. Melt the butter but do not allow it to brown.

3)    Pour the egg mixture into the pan, and let the mixture sit for about 10-15 seconds without stirring.

4)   Next, stir continuously until eggs begin to hold. When eggs are mostly set with a few slightly running sections, take the pan off the heat and allow eggs to continue to cook in the pan off the heat.

 

Boiled Eggs

 

Instructions

1)    Put eggs in a pot and fill pot with enough cold water to cover the eggs completely.

2)    Heat pan over medium heat.

3)    For perfectly soft-boiled eggs with runny yolk, time 2-3 minutes after water begins to boil.

4)    For perfectly cooked hard-boiled eggs, time 9-10 minutes after water begins to boil.

 

Tips:

·   Use older eggs for easier peeling after cooking.

·   Run pan under cold water for a few minutes 

 

Poached Eggs (2 methods)

 

Stovetop:

·   In a pan, boil water with approximately 2 tablespoons of white vinegar.

·   Once water boils, crack an egg into a cup.

·   Before putting egg into boiling water, use a spoon to swirl the water for about 30 seconds creating a whirlpool. The whirlpool allows the whites to keep together while poaching the egg.

·   Gently pour the egg into the water and allow cooking for 2-4 minutes, depending on how you like your egg cooked (2 minutes for soft, 4 minutes for firm).

·   Remove eggs from water with a slotted spoon to allow them to drain.

 

Microwave:

·  Fill a microwaveable cup with ½ cup of water.

·  Gently crack the egg into the water. Make sure the water covers the egg completely.

·  Cover the cup with plastic wrap and microwave for one minute.

a, From the BrainSTEM, Science & Technology

From the BrainSTEM: The failing U.S. education system

by Chloe Nevitt on

More in a:

When it comes to training future generations, scientific research has proven that the U.S. education system fails. In 2012, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) coordinated the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), a standard that was developed for measuring the performance of 15-year-old students in math, science, and reading literacy. They found that the U.S. was average when evaluating science and reading, while in math, the U.S. fell significantly below average. At the top of the list was Japan, South Korea, China, and Finland. Considering the fact that the U.S. government spends around $632 billion a year (according to the U.S. Department of Education) funding its education system—five times more than the second biggest spender, Japan—its standardized test results are pitiable.

It’s easy to argue that standardized scores cannot be used to measure a person’s intelligence and should therefore be dismissed. However, in light of the obscene amount of money the U.S. invests in its education system, there is no denying that we’re doing something wrong. Perfecting the U.S. education system has consumed countless amounts of taxpayer dollars and innumerable government official hours with no observable progress. This can only mean one thing: Policymakers are not listening to the right people.

Since the 1990s, researchers have been suggesting fundamental changes to the educational system. In 1993, researchers at Brown University showed that at the onset of puberty, adolescents will experience what is known as a phase shift in their sleeping schedules, causing them to fall asleep and wake up later. Following this, more evidence began to surface from universities across the globe, supporting and validating this claim. This led to physicians and scientists calling for delayed class start times to improve academic performance, but their cries were ignored.

Today, 85 per cent of U.S. schools have start times before 8:30 a.m. By failing to invoke later start times for schools, policies consistently subject adolescent students to states of sleep deprivation, decreasing overall performance. Twenty years later, when the importance of sleep is uncontested, we still fail to provide these students with this consideration. And when the problem can be remedied as easily as having the school bell ring an hour later, it seems draconian to not implement it. But starting the day later is frowned upon in North American society and often associated with laziness and ineptitude. Schools, as a result, reject the mere mention, fueled by skeptical parents and lazy educators unwilling to evolve their work schedules, ignoring the needs of children.

    The consequences of inept teaching is seen further when assessing American homework assignments. Finland, on the other hand, completely restructured their education system 40 years ago as part of larger economic recovery plans. This partly focused on improving teacher training by making it more selective and rigorous, ensuring quality control. But it extended beyond that.

On average, Finnish schools will assign no more than half an hour of homework a day, whereas, according to a 2007 Metlife study, the average American high school student will do upwards to eight hours of homework a week. Initially, the idea of assigning less work seems counter-productive; it is only when looking closely at the type of work being assigned that we begin to notice a difference. U.S. schools are in a chokehold caused by the American consumerist mentality—bigger is better; quantity over quality.

By throwing endless amounts of useless exercises at students, we are enablers of teacher shortcomings—if it can’t be taught in class, it can be assigned. We also limit the amount of time students can spend participating in extra-curricular activities where creativity, teamwork, and autonomy can be learned through experience. And while these skills aren’t immediately deemed valuable by the North American system—presumably because they can’t be evaluated through standardized tests—other countries are realizing that a successful student will generally possesses an array of these talents. Researchers have shown—as recently as last Monday in an article published in the Journal of Educational Psychology—that anything more than 70 minutes of homework per day is inefficient. Why, then, are U.S. students still inundated with mountains of work that have shown to serve no productive purpose?

In 2000, when the first PISA was done, a shockwave spread through the world: Finnish students were the best young readers in the world. By 2003, they were the best at math and by 2006; Finnish students had captured the top spot in science. No one expected the Finnish system to work this well, or for that matter, at all. Instead of focusing on their policies, they listened to the needs of the students, and responded to that. Finnish society has created schools where the students are not only nurtured, but prized. There is no segregation of smart and ‘dumb’ children; those who are struggling are offered the help they deserve.

The capitalist mentality of punishing slow learners and rewarding the fast learners by placing them into honour societies or in Advanced Placement programs is glaringly flawed. We are drawing an imaginary line where we define some children as being smart and others dumb. If the education system we’ve created convinces students that they are not equally as capable or intelligent as their peers, we have in fact, done the opposite of creating an education system. According to the Wall Street Journal, the United States' secondary education graduation rate is only 75 per cent; Finland’s is 96.

Many differences exist between the U.S. and Finland that cannot be ignored. But when dealing with such a fundamentally similar problem, the same approach should be taken. The American education system needs a complete overhaul.

If, in the future, the U.S. hopes to compete economically, socially, and politically on a global scale, it needs to more properly prepare the next generation. By maintaining the current status quo of machine learning, hoping to pump out higher standardized test scores through shallow and flimsy education policies, it is setting itself up for disaster. If the cries of researchers are addressed, and students are treated like humans instead of numbers, then we might start to see progress. Until then, the likes of Finland, Japan, South Korea, and China will continue to outperform the U.S., and if no changes are made—for years to come.

 

a, Science & Technology

Research Briefs—March 31, 2015

by Cassie Lee on

More in a:

 

  • A visual dictionary

    Recent research published in The Journal of Neuroscience by researchers from Georgetown University has preseanted the mechanism underlying how humans read. The researchers found that instead of breaking down words into sounds and meanings, our brains visually imagine the word first. The collaboration of scientists conducting this study believe a small part of the brain called the visual word form area (VWFA) in the left occipitotemporal lobe stores how a whole word looks, allowing for quick recall while reading.

    To demonstrate this hypothesis, subjects were trained to recognize ‘pseudo-words,’ or words that had no meaning. The volunteers then had an fMRI, a type of brain scan, taken of them while reading texts which contained both real and pseudo-words. What the researchers found was that before training there was poor response tunings in the VWFA, while real words exhibited strong responses. After the training, the pseudowords began to elicit similar responses to real words, suggesting that word learning increases neuron specificity in the VWFA, which creates a picture of the word and saves it in a type of visual dictionary.

    This research adds to the ever-growing pile of evidence supporting the hypothesis that our brains do not have a direct mechanism for reading. This is because expression in the form of writing is so evolutionarily young that our brains have instead created new, alternate, mechanisms for reading. The study has wide implications in the field of learning and reading, especially when considering new strategies to visual word processing for those with learning disabilities.

  • Maintaining fidelity

    McGill University researcher John Lydon and Johan Karremans from Radbond University may have figured out why some people in relationships have a wandering eye and others don’t. Their recently published review, Relationship regulation in the face of eye candy: A motivated cognition framework for understanding response to attractive alternatives, explores how couples in committed relationships resist other attractive individuals.

    According to Lydon and Karremans, the difference between a cheater and a faithful partner is tied to the ability to exert self-control in all areas of their lives—this includes resisting fattening foods or binge watching Netflix. In one study they presented, brain activation when neglecting self-control also correlated to a higher degree of responsiveness to attractive individuals, regardless of the relationship status. So it would seem that those who are more likely to succumb to their vices are more likely to succumb to infidelity as well. Conditions that decrease inhibition, such as being tired, stressed, or under the influence of alcohol, are also conducive to cheating.

    When evaluating faithfulness, psychological drives of motivation play an enormous role. However, fidelity runs beyond one’s personal ability to stay motivated, and is also tied to the amount by which one identifies with his or her partner. Basically, resisting ‘eye candy’ is a lot easier to do if a person is more invested. On the other hand, if the chemistry is missing, the tendency to explore alternative, more attractive individuals, increases.

  • Doping with dopamine

    Human actions have been portrayed as being impossible to predict. Scientists from UC Berkley and UC San Francisco are showing that this might not necessarily be the case. In their study Dopamine Modulates Egalitarian Behaviour in Humans, the researchers show that pro-social behaviour can be modulated with drugs. The evidence suggests that by stimulating dopamine production, we can increase equality-seeking behaviours.

    The study was originally conducted to investigate the chemical imbalances in mental disorders such as addiction or bipolarism. The scientists performed a double-blind experiment in which subjects were given the drug Tolcapone, which is used in the treatment of Parkinson’s Disease by increasing dopamine levels in the prefrontal cortex. Participants were then asked to play a simple game that involved splitting money between participants. The results showed that when under the influence of Tolcapone, subjects were more likely to split the money equally amongst the strangers. By increasing dopamine levels, the researchers increased generosity.

    It may be difficult to consider personality traits as being controllable, but if egalitarian behaviour can be subject to manipulation, what else can?

a, Arts & Entertainment, Music

Redemption Songs

by Max Berger on

More in a:

“Why are you bothering to do good for people who have done so much bad?”

As the founder of Pros and Cons, a pilot program that gives musical mentorship to prison inmates, Hugh Christopher Brown has put a lot of thought into this question. Ultimately for him, the answer comes down to one guiding principle.

“I don’t feel that a single atrocious act should eclipse an entire human being,” Brown said. “You build a relationship [with a prisoner,] and very often, that’s exactly what’s lacking from [the lives of people] who end up doing something narcissistic, tragic, violent, and stupid that lands their ass in jail.”

Many would tend to agree with Brown in theory, but projects that meaningfully enrich the lives of prisoners are rare, and with limited financial resources available, few are willing to take the initiative to actually go out and implement them. In 2010, the numbers of those projects dwindled even further when the Conservative government went forward with a plan that shut down six rehabilitative prison farms around Canada at which inmates had the opportunity to do agricultural work during their sentences. One of them was Pittsburgh Institution, located just outside of Kingston and near Brown’s studio on Wolfe Island. With this crucial activity in their lives taken away, Brown saw the opportunity to step in and provide an alternative.

“I didn’t think that a benefit or a cause record would necessarily be effective because convicts sponsor little public sympathy,” Brown explained. “So I just decided to get inside and do something positive.”

Launching Pros and Cons was one significant step in a long musical journey for Brown. He played classical music growing up in Toronto and played in rock bands during high school, including the Bourbon Tabernacle Choir, which lasted on the road for 10 years. Since then he’s been living mostly in New York, both creating his own music and playing/producing for other artists, including The Tragically Hip and the Crash Test Dummies.  

At the outset of the program, Brown was starting from scratch, unaware of anything similar that could provide him with a template to follow. As he describes, Pros and Cons is more focused on giving the creative process a space to happen than adhering to some sort of rigid structure.

“It’s a collaboration with largely myself and the inmates, but I’ve brought in a lot of other musicians and artists to kind of share their experience and songs, so it can change depending on who’s present,” Brown explained. “Sometimes it’s sharing songs, or it’s about musical theory. There’s been a lot of engineering and production work because the guys all had to learn to set equipment up and then tear it down because we have to empty the chapel every week.”

The growth and direction of the program are largely a product of the response from the Pittsburgh inmates—which has been overwhelmingly positive.

“The first session I ever did in there was supposed to be 45 minutes and it turned into two and a half hours,” Brown recalled. “Everybody had notebooks, poems. Once we started, it just was like a floodgate [….] There was so much writing and so many people who wanted to be involved that I just kind of kept up regular sessions and by the end of it, we had an album recorded entirely in prison.”

Brown is referring to Postcards From the County (2014), a 12-track collection of folk-centric original songs and covers, with proceeds going to various charities and restorative justice victim support causes. It was recorded over the course of a year, although Brown has been going into the prison for about two and a half years in total now. Pros and Cons is something he’s coordinated as a volunteer, and he’s often had to provide funding for it out of his own pocket. He hopes that the model that he’s established can continue to succeed and potentially spread.  

“What I’m doing right now is accruing a team of people who want to do it in different places,” Brown shares.

However, he worries that the Canadian government is looking to rationalize privatization of the prison system, and won’t be likely to help enable a program that could probably benefit the country from a financial standpoint.

“I would argue that if you started a program like this nationally, you’d be saving money because incarceration rates [and recidivism] would go down,” Brown explained. “This civilization has to take responsibility for itself beyond warehousing human beings, and beyond just our acceptance of collective punishment.”

Especially having produced results on a micro scale already, Brown knows firsthand how beneficial something like Pros and Cons can be for an individual.

“There was this one inmate who wouldn’t come out of his cell for over a year unless he was ordered to,” Brown said. “And they all thought that he was done for. The [inmate] was one of the most enthusiastic proponents of the program, who exposed himself to be incredibly gifted on the guitar, and then he just started practicing and practicing and mentoring others to do the same.”

With Pros and Cons, the music and positivity are present in Pittsburgh; hopefully more penal systems decide to start playing along. 

Margaret Scratcher
a, Joke

Margaret Scratcher claws her way up to SSMU presidency

by Catowner Lee on

More in a:

On Friday, March 27, write-in catidate Margaret Scratcher won her case against the SSMU Supreme Court regarding the results of the recent SSMU election. Claiming there was something fishy about the unfurrtunate results, the Supreme Court scooped up the tail and due to an infringement claws, issued an official recount. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, the Court found Scratcher the clear winner with a majority vote of 89.8 per cent.

The claim was placed following rumors that members from within the election itself groomed the results to cause Scratcher’s loss. The purrpetrators, whose names have not yet been released to the public, are currently being purrsued to validate the allogations. Sources assert the group rigged the election because they “really are, just dog people.” 

After the shocking catastrophe, former president-elect Karma Abraham reacted pawsitively, asserting the importance of transpurrancy in elections. He was also relieved to have the pressure remewved. Last night he updated his Facebook status: “Thanks all for your support, I am sure Margaret will do a purrfect job. TBH all I want to do now is snuggle up in something soft and knock some important items off my desk.”

The other candidate Alex Smirnoff agreed Scratcher was the top dog for the job, but urged students to be cautious, recalling Scratchers previous cattiness during presidential debates. 

“She would litterally just sit there licking herself in public, occasionally meowing at the ceiling. Something about her just rubbed me the wrong way.”

Scratcher does not intend to take this attack purrsonally and is ready to pounce back and start putting her plans into action. Her previous platform included increasing budget spending to complete project Capture the Red Dot and opening the Redpath Library doors to accommodate individuals without opposable thumbs. With this victory she intends to really get her paws dirty and chase the rats out of SSMU. 

She also plans to continue to push the importance of creature equality on campus. She commented that all species regardless of colour, fluffiness, or snuggability ought to have a rightful place at McGill. In order to achieve this monstrous task, she proposes the placement of gender and species-neural litterboxes throughout campus.  

Her first project will be piloted this coming April, titled “Free the Nip,” a campaign lobbying for the legalization of catnip on campus. She envisions the complete decriminalization of posession of the popular stimulant by November 2015. 

Scratcher stated she was excited to have won her case and intends to seize every moment as SSMU president as if it was the last ball of twine dangling off a table. In celebration of her triumph, she hopes to install the first ever “Cocktail Caturdays” a bring your pet to Gerts night. Although not yet confirmed, it is rumored that Concordia University’s student union’s president Winston Furrhill will be in attendance. The pair have been spotted sharing scratching posts and left the litterbox together this past February. The other VP’s declined to comment on how these relations will affect the future of communication between Concordia and McGill student unions. 

The other VPs commented they were pleased with the results, hoping Margaret will live up to her reputation as the iron kitty, and are grateful to have such a motiviated member on council.  Khloe Torque, next year’s VP University Affurs, added, “I’m grateful to have Margaret’s fantastic catitude with us on committee, I’m hoping her presidency will also have great impact on the current mice infestation in SSMU.”

Concerns were raised from current VP Internal Dave Haim regarding how the presence of such an adorable councillor would affect productivity of fellow SSMU members. Rumors of a motion to implement extra cuddle hours have not been confirmed; however, several students have expressed interest in attending office hours with Scratcher.

This story is a work of satire and appeared as part of our April Fools Issue 2015.

a, Joke

Library Improvement Fund creates initiative to eliminate PDA

by Julie Andrews on

More in a:

The Library Improvement Fund (LIF) released its report this week outlining the initiatives that will be undertaken in the 2015-2016 academic year. The report includes plans to improve the library facilities, as well as strategies for the implementation of several special projects. 

One of the main undertakings is the creation of a timeline to eliminate PDA by 2017. The LIF created a plan to achieve this goal by gradually imposing regulations to limit impromptu shoulder massages and make-out sessions directly across from another student. 

Out of respect to other students, the report also recommends leaving your goddamn carrots at home. The LIF has also explored the possibility of holding workshops for students seeking to learn about proper music and cell phone etiquette. One info session has already been held for students unsure of at what decibel their trap music becomes audible to the entire rest of the section.

In a two-pronged approach to combat the persistent smell of body odour, the LIF has put aside funds to hold a large-scale fumigation of the 6th floor of Schulich Library, and hopes to lobby the administration to organize its efforts to turn down the thermostat.  In addition, the LIF has created a specific timeline dedicated to initiatives at the Schulich Library, including hopes to see the construction on the building completed by 2092. 

As part of its efforts to improve the appearance of library facilities, the LIF hopes to increase its funding by December 2016 to provide calligraphy pens in all library bathrooms with the goal of beautifying the bathroom stall debates scrawled on the walls. The report reasons that your uninformed comments about the Demilitarize McGill sticker would look much nicer in a uniform serif font.

The LIF report also advocates for the implementation of strict regulations to combat students taking the elevator to the third floor. Some strategies for achieving this goal include imposing fines for lazy elevator riders, as well as starting a social action campaign to publicly shame any student who takes the elevator to either the second or third floor. Negotiations are also underway for a similar shaming strategy for individual students occupying a five-person table in the Redpath group study area.

Finally, in collaboration with the Mental Health Working Group (MHWG), the LIF has requested that McGill discontinue the 11:45 PM bell in McLennan Library. The report estimated that the elimination of the incessant ringing in the middle of student all-nighters would decrease the number of visits to the Mental Health Clinic by approximately 40 per cent. This request was made in direct response to one student’s meltdown during the Fall semester finals, when the ringing, even when stopped, continued to echo in his head, causing him to curl up in fetal position under a 5th floor McLennan desk.

This story is a work of satire and appeared as part of our April Fools Issue 2015.

1 … 838 839 840 841 842 … 1,363

Read the latest issue

Read the latest issue