I would call myself a pretty neat person. I wash dishes the night they’re dirtied, do laundry once a week, and occasionally brush my teeth. However, the events that transpired shortly before this past Reading Week have led me to re-evaluate my cleanliness.

The story starts the Wednesday before break when I heard some odd sounds in my apartment. I was lying in bed, studying for a quiz when a scratching sound came from directly above me. Not the scratching sound of someone walking upstairs, but the scratching of something smaller, alive, moving around. Shortly after the mysterious noise, I heard something take off, running directly above the ceiling, across the room. I figured this was a mouse, or squirrel which had gotten into the ceiling above my apartment, but because I had never heard the sound before, I thought it was a one-time occurrence. As a precaution, however, I set up a toilet-paper roll mousetrap in my kitchen.

A couple days later, after the Operating Systems quiz I had been studying for, I was at home making breakfast. As my apartment filled with the aroma of cooking bacon, I was relaxing and looking forward to Reading Week, which was only a few hours away. Shortly after turning off the stove, though, I heard the sound again. This time it was coming from the bathroom. I tiptoed into the room, where I identified the sound as coming from behind the toilet. Upon investigation, I discovered a hole, three inches in diameter, that had not been there when I moved in. My mind churned, as I tried to attribute this hole to anything other than the obvious. My fears were confirmed: a large rat poked its head out, sniffed around, and turned back into the walls. It was at precisely this point that my day was officially ruined.

I shut the bathroom door, hurried to my phone and did what any 21-year-old man would do in this situation: I called my mom. We concluded that the most logical course of action was to call my landlord, set traps, and leave the house. I left a message for my landlord and headed out. After class, I went to Canadian Tire and bought several rat traps. While setting these up, I discovered my biggest fear in life: getting caught in one of these traps. I baited them and headed to a hotel for the night.

Returning the next morning before my train left, I found that one of the traps had gone off but Steve McQueen, as I had named the creature, was nowhere to be found. I had to leave that morning, so I re-baited the traps and left another message for my landlord, asking him to drop by and check the traps every few days over reading week.

Unfortunately, upon my return, the beast had not yet been captured. However, my landlord told me that about a week before, when checking the traps (at this point there were six in my eight square foot bathroom), he’d discovered that one had gone off and there was a trail of blood leading back to the hole. There had been no sign of Steve McQueen since. We decided to wait another week before patching the hole, in case Steve McQueen returned. The rat never came back, and I can only assume he was either mortally wounded in his quest for peanut butter, or he moved on to terrorize another dwelling.

As a result of the whole ordeal, I learned how to deal with one of Montreal’s most disgusting pests. Here are some tips:

You might have a rat if you hear strange noises like I did. If you find strange holes in your house, that’s another good indication of a furry inhabitant. One of the most telling sign is rat droppings. If you think you have a rat and you find droppings, you should stop thinking and start acting.

If a rat has taken up residence in your apartment, you should call your landlord straight away, (right after calling your mom, that is). It is their responsibility to take care of the pest.

Avoid using rat poison. Even though you might kill the rat, if it dies in your walls, it will bring an awful stench. Live traps can work, but only if the rat really can’t get out. Additionally, you’ll need to free the pest far away from your home.

Finally, rats love bacon. Who can blame them, though?