The owners are crying poor, the players are rebelling, and the fans are suffering the most. What else is new? Here’s an ingenious list of activities that are bound to keep you occupied and distracted in ways which Grapes’s flamboyant suits could never do. 

#10. Wash your jerseys.

Sports fans cherish their jerseys. It shows their allegiance as well as the mustard stains from that ridiculous, but delicious, $7 hotdog bought at the game. We normally refrain from washing it, but an exception should be made as we usher in a new agreement. Everything should start fresh.

#9. Save your sick days at work for a real emergency.

Studies have shown a positive correlation between the use of sick days and games between divisional rivals. This is the perfect time to impress your employers and start an attendance streak that will make former NHL ironman Doug Jarvis proud.

Practice what you preach and actually learn to play the game. See, it’s not that easy. There’s a reason they call hockey the fastest game on two feet—and why we love it so much. In addition, all of that time sitting around watching hockey has probably caused you to put on a couple of kilos … it’s never too late to put on a skate.

The NHL season is not in play, but that does not mean your favourite players are on the sidelines. Many NHL stars have already headed to Europe, and more will surely join them. If the time difference bothers you, watch your team’s future stars play in the AHL or CHL.

Make another YouTube lockout video, because there just aren’t enough of those already. Show that you care! However, be warned that using Nickelback as background music is justification to have your account banned forever.

Do something mind-numbingly boring, and direct your bottled up frustration and anger towards it. My suggestion: watch some soccer.

Nothing is more enjoyable than bashing Toronto’s mediocrity. I’ll even get you started on a few topics: Kessel’s lack of physicality; James Riemer, the human sieve; or my personal favourite, the team’s 45-year cup drought.

If you thought making fun of the Leafs was fun, wait until you start targeting the Bleu, Blanc, et Rouge.

Get that A you always wanted. Impress your friends and family with a sparkling 4.0 GPA.

You must be really bored if you made it all the way to #1. For your sake, I hope the lockout ends soon.