Cloudberry the squirrel has asked The McGill Tribune to publish the following letter on her behalf. 

Hey McGillians, 

Cloudberry here. I’ve asked the Tribune to share this message on my behalf as I don’t have social media. 

The Tribune has shown me all of the fan accounts on social media and the endless Reddit posts with pictures of me attached, titled “Spotted Cloudberry” and “she’s so hot.” I am so flattered by all the love that you all have shown me and would want to thank you. However, I’ve come to a certain age where I don’t have the patience to put up with crazy fans and stalkers who follow me around 24/7—don’t you guys have class? 

I know as the designated “McGill squirrel” I have an obligation to be present on campus and to show myself to the people to raise school spirits, but I’m TIRED OF THE FAME AND OF THE ATTENTION. I want to be able to walk around unnoticed like my other squirrel friends and not have a group of students gather around me, pulling out their phones to take who knows how many pictures from unflattering angles? I already have to deal with the heightened threat of predators because of my white fur. I don’t want to add crazy fans to my list of worries—I’ve already had to hire body doubles to evade the paparazzi. 

I loved the winter because it gave me a break from all of the spotlight. There weren’t as many students on campus and because of the snow, I could easily blend in the environment. But, summer is around the corner and I am already dreading it. More people go out and pass through campus, and I can’t go anywhere without drawing attention. Put yourself in my shoes—or, paws: Imagine every time you went out everyone would stop to look at you and take pictures of you WITHOUT ASKING. It’s exhausting. I miss the time when I could just go out without worrying about being followed. Before moving to Milton-Parc, I grew up in Mont-Royal, surrounded by nature and peace. 

I don’t think most of you realize that being famous isn’t easy. Do you know how much time I spend getting ready in the morning to make sure that my pearly coat is perfect? Definitely more time than I should be. Once I’m on campus I have to be careful with what I do to make sure something embarrassing, like peeing behind a tree, doesn’t end up getting posted on social media and getting me in trouble with my community. 

Also, all this fame has made my other squirrel friends jealous. I mean I get why you guys adore me, I am pretty cute, but maybe you should show them some love for a change. I’m tired of dealing with their complaints and of being constantly left out of their nutty games. 

All I’m asking is for all of you to give me a bit of space—summer is around the corner and I don’t want to have to deal with all of you. Next time you spot me on campus, perhaps don’t take a picture of me. Just treat me like any other squirrel! 

I hope you all understand. 

Sincerely, 

Cloudberry