The Faculty of Engineering will add a new course to its curriculum beginning in the 2012-13 academic year. This addition will not affect any current students but will be grandfathered in. The change means that all Engineering students, beginning in September 2013, will be required to take an English course in order to graduate.
Faculty head Tim Newton says he hopes this will make McGill Engineering students more attractive to potential employers and graduate schools.
“A lot of our students graduate with about as much knowledge of English and communications as a Chemistry student has knowledge of neo-post-zionistic modernismist feminismumbojumbo theory,” he said. “I mean, what does that even mean anyways? It’s like real-valued phasors. It just doesn’t make sense.”
The course, ENGL 2∫λє[0,50]{∫τєRδ(τ)∂τ}∂λ + e-2πj, will be a departure from the math- and science-oriented courses that engineers usually take. Students will be forced to write two essays and participate in mock job interviews. The course is intended to improve Engineering students’ communication abilities, both in writing and in more social contexts. It will not have a final exam. In its place, students will participate in a round of tournament-style speed dating.
“We’re hoping that this will make our graduates much more well-rounded,” Newton says. “Ultimately, we just don’t want out alumni to embarrass themselves. As far as the tournament goes, if any of the students can sustain a two minute conversation with a member of the opposite sex, we’ll be happy.”
Newton referred to the case of Kovachevitsalamanovadelartorova Tesla, the top-of-class electrical Engineering graduate who was declined a job because he cracked under pressure. In response to the stressful situation, the 24-year-old succumbed to urinary incontinence, which pissed off the employers so much that he was immediately escorted off the premises. Not long after the incident, he was hired at Bombardier.
“That’s the kind of thing we want to avoid,” said Newton.
The course will pose a challenge to many students because it is drastically different from any other course in the curriculum. Some students, like third year civil Engineer Sammy Plank, are apprehensive about this.
“I don’t see how can we take this course?” he questioned. “In my engineering, all is numbers. None is words. I cannot think it. Forty-nine, negative three point two. This is what I like. Not A, E, I, O, U and Y too.”
Others are optimistic that the course will enrich the qualifications of future engineers. Second-year electrical Engineer Tim Watson says he wishes he had the opportunity to take the course.
“I think these students will learn many things,” he said. “Words, they can be tricky sometime, much like this mysterious MOSFET—I cannot tell you, what is it? I wish I have the opportunity to learn this course. These students, they will learn very well English, and other stuff too. And also speed dating,” he added, winking. “I can like speed dating.”
“They can’t build robots to do the speed dating,” Newton insisted. “That really defeats the purpose of the course.”
The Brobune attempted to conduct an interview with four other students in the faculty of Engineering, but they were unable to speak on the record.
