As the year comes to a close, we at The Tribune have been reflecting, and one topic of our reflection has been the hallowed bathroom stalls across campus. But what does your go-to bathroom say about you?
Leacock basement bathroom
You’re an Arts student, but that’s just your part-time gig. Full-time, you’re breaking necks, dropping jaws, and slaying in your role as resident McGill fashion icon. People say that the school has a fashion culture because of you. Every class is a runway show, and every stride through the Y is a catwalk. If McGill has taught you anything, it’s that your suburban hometown held you back. You are a star. Now get that mirror fit-pic, baddie!
OAP Porta-Potty
You are probably laughing while reading this, even though I haven’t gotten to any jokes yet. You’re here for a good time, not necessarily a long time (especially if your essay due at 11:59 pm has anything to say about it. Yeah, remember that?). Nonetheless, you are the lively spirit that we need here at McGill, reminding all of us that we’re only young once, everyone’s trying their best, and we need to take time and celebrate ourselves.
SSMU basement bathroom
Not to be confused with the seasonal OAP-porta-potty regulars, you are committed to the celebratory lifestyle. Sessions in McLennan followed by a run to Gerts is your version of a Pomodoro timer. You’re not afraid of a 20-page essay, or problem sets so long as there are celebratory cheers on the other side of it. You embody McGill’s work hard, play hard spirit, and execute it with pride, and you know what? We salute you.
SSMU fourth-floor bathroom
If more than once, you’ve found yourself reaching for a nonexistent roll of toilet paper to wipe your tears, then you’re probably a club executive holding it together by a thread on the fourth floor of the SSMU building. Your ideas are incredible, obviously. You’re always right, clearly. You are the heart and soul of that team, and everyone there is lucky to have you! But right now, take a breath, and take a moment. Whatever crisis needs averting will be solved, I promise.
McGill Gym bathroom
You are a beast. You are Thor. You are… hoping no one was paying close attention to your form during that last set of bicep curls. If the bathrooms down the hall from the gym are one of your favourite haunts, then you are a McGill gym baddie. You hit a question set in the AM and quads set in the PM. Day in, day out, you’re here grinding and getting better and praying not to have a surprise cameo on Spotted: McGill.
Stewart Bio fifth-floor bathroom
You are a STEM baddie and McGill’s resident Rapunzel, locked in your tower atop the hill, wondering when will my life beginnnnnn? You are the best of us; stay strong soldier.
McLennan third-floor bathroom
If you routinely find yourself in the third-floor bathroom in McLennan, then life is a cruise ship, and you’re the entertainment director. And the third floor is your lido deck. You and your huge group of friends regularly regale the entire floor with your gossip and jokes, always making sure that everyone can hear you (wouldn’t want anyone to miss out on the tea, right?). You like to think of the library as both a place for studying and socializing. You know how sad the mood can get during finals, so you’re always there to bring the vibes up. Like, all the time. It’s a tough job, but you’re up to it. Besides, what would we all do without you?
McLennan sixth-floor bathroom
You are a soldier, you have nostrils of steel, and (I hope) shoes with thick soles.
McLennan-Redpath Complex first floor bathroom
If you often find yourself under the bright lights and endless stalls of the McLennan-Redpath Complex first-floor bathroom, then you are… all of us. You’re clocking in and chasing that degree one day at a time. Maybe you know what your future holds, or maybe you’re just happy to be here. But either way, you’re showing up, learning, working hard, and looking amazing doing it (upholding our reputation as Canada’s hottest university). Keep going, kid. Good luck this finals season and go easy on the Redbulls—you’ve got this!
